Memorialization

All we need to do is say the word "funeral" and within microseconds, you have an image in your mind of what a funeral looks like. This mental image comes from many sources: the geographical place, culture and society in which we live; our faith; our life experience. 

The one common thread in just about everyone’s image is that a funeral service, whether traditional or more modern, has two functions: to acknowledge the death and lifetime achievements of an individual and to bring grieving family members and friends together in support of one another during this difficult time.

The three most common end-of-life commemorative services are the traditional funeral, the memorial service and the increasingly popular celebration-of-life. 

Traditional Funeral

Probably the most common type of commemorative service is the traditional funeral. This type service includes:
  • A visitation: this is often called a viewing or a wake. Guests come to pay their respects to the deceased by viewing their casketed body and spending time with the grieving family. A visitation can occur anytime before the funeral service.
  • Funeral Service: this event commonly takes place at the funeral home, a church, or at the graveside. It can include music, the reading of literary or religious passages, a eulogy, prayer, and the singing of hymns.
  • Committal Service: if the family plans to bury the deceased, this stage may involve a vehicle procession to the cemetery and a prayer or reading at the graveside.
  • Funeral Reception: Many choose to host the post-service gathering at a reception hall. This is considered a time to share memories, laughter, and support.

    Memorial Service

    Unlike a traditional funeral, a memorial service is a gathering where a casket is not present (although the urn with the cremated remains may be on display). A memorial service can be held weeks or even months after the death. A memorial service can be held in a church, the funeral home or a community hall, or somewhere of importance to the deceased and family. There is usually music, selected readings, and a eulogy. 

    A memorial service can be further tailored to the personality and lifestyle of the deceased. By displaying photographs or staging the event around a favorite pastime, a memorial service can become more personal and meaningful.

    Memorial services can be further personalized as a celebration-of-life, which as the name indicates, celebrates the life of the deceased.

    Celebration-of-Life

    While a funeral, as we've described it above, has more to do with an orderly process and is often spiritually-defined; a celebration-of-life is more concerned with telling the story of the deceased. Celebrations-of-life are just that: a time for people to come together to celebrate the unique personality and achievements of the deceased.

    While celebrations-of-life are not burdened by social expectations—they can be pretty much anything you want them to be—it's important to realize that the event you're planning should meet the emotional needs of the survivors. So, think about exactly who will be there, and what they're likely to want or need. Then, bring in those unique lifestyle and personality characteristics of the deceased; perhaps add live music or refreshments, and you've got the beginnings of a remarkable celebration-of-life.

    Since celebrations-of-life are commonly held after the individual's physical remains have been cared for through burial or cremation, there is much more time available to plan the event. And without doubt, this allows you to make better decisions about how you'd like to celebrate the life of someone you dearly loved.

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